How You Can be More Mindful
Bhavna Toor, author of The Conscious Choice, suggests small ways you can be more mindful.
From the possibility of the impossible to making choices from a place of courage, we've gathered essential advice from THE CONSCIOUS CHOICE to help you make the most of your life by being more mindful.
‘‘You are just one choice away from a new perspective, a new habit, a new path.’’
Bhavna Toor, The Conscious Choice
1. Make every choice and take every action from a place of courage.
Unless you take the time to figure out how you can live a life of greater meaning and purpose, you will always have regrets. Do you know what this practice has brought me?
A life fully aligned with my values. A career that allows me to positively impact the lives of countless women and men every single day. And most importantly, a deep sense of contentment from knowing I am on the right path. None of this would have happened if I hadn’t chosen courage as a guiding value in my life.
2. The impossible is just the possible that hasn’t been done yet.
Thinking something is impossible is often a conscious frame of mind, one that limits what we allow ourselves to pursue. What have you convinced yourself is impossible for you, simply because no one around you has done it yet? Once you see someone else break through, your perspective might shift. What was once impossible suddenly feels within reach. And that’s where real transformation begins.
3. Replace your ‘why’ with a ‘what’.
‘Why’ questions often lead to self-judgment rather than constructive solutions. Try asking ‘what’ questions instead.
- Instead of ‘Why do I always hesitate to speak up?’ ask, ‘What can I do to speak up more?’
- Instead of ‘Why do I keep falling back into old habits?’ ask, ‘What can I do differently that will make this habit stick?’
- Instead of ‘Why is my life or career stuck?’ ask, ‘What is one small step I can take to improve my life or career?’
Where a ‘why’ question might keep you stuck, a ‘what’ question has the power to open your mind to new solutions and insights, which can then help you accept your present circumstances and move forward.
4. Move from feedback – which is focused on the unchangeable past – to feed-forward, aimed at creating a better future.
For example, let’s say being seen as someone who is a good listener is important to you. Instead of asking for feedback on whether you are a good listener, you might ask for feed-forward on how you can become a better listener.
The biggest benefit of this forward-looking approach is that it takes judgment out of the conversation, creating a safe space for more open and honest communication. When the person giving you feedback feels like their input can help you create a better future, they are more open in sharing their ideas. And without the threat of judgment, you as the receiver are more likely to receive the feedback with grace and take action.
5. Say ‘I don’t’ instead of ‘I can’t’.
When you say ‘I can’t’, it implies that you have to exert a lot of control to go against your wishes, which can be exhausting. On the other hand, saying ‘I don’t’ implies you are making a conscious choice. Professor Vanessa Patrick calls this an empowered refusal – a firm and decisive stance that does not invite pushback, either from yourself or others. You are saying: This is what I do and this is what I don’t do. You are giving voice to your values, priorities and preferences.
The key thing to consider is how the words you use shape your identity. Saying ‘I can’t’ binds you to the old identity that you are trying so hard to change. Whereas saying ‘I don’t’ helps you adopt a new identity that is more supportive of the habits you are trying to form.
FIND OUT MORE:
The Conscious Choice
by Bhavna Toor
You are just one conscious choice away from the life you want
In a life filled with innumerable choices every day – both mundane and extraordinary – finding clarity and purpose can feel elusive. In The Conscious Choice, mindfulness and leadership coach Bhavna Toor presents a powerful guide to help readers navigate the many paths and find their way to a life of success and satisfaction.
In 100 bite-sized chapters, Toor combines ancient wisdom with science-based evidence to present the reader with practical strategies to overcome daily stressors and steer through difficult scenarios. Learn to channel the best parts of your authentic self, challenge pre-existing notions about yourself and others, and find greater autonomy in a world that can often feel overwhelming and out of control.
Complete with beautiful illustrations, The Conscious Choice is an invitation to slow down, introspect with compassion and choose the path that leads to the life of your dreams, at your own pace.